Our Journey Begins

It has been over a week now since my second miscarriage, or as they call it, chemical pregnancy. Craig and I are doing better this time around for some reason. After doing some research online, I felt better about all the possible outcomes. I had found that it was possibly due to hormone levels. That seems like no big deal. Something that we can supplement and I would be fine.
So, when my doctor came in she hugged me and shook Criag's hand. She is that most warm, caring physician I have ever had. She is the reason that I continue to drive over an hour to her office instead of finding a doctor closer. When she delivered my son, SHE THANKED ME for letting HER be a part of that special moment in our lives. What doctor says that? I will never forget it.

She quickly sat down and started listening to me and answering my questions. I had written down all sorts of questions and, of course, I left the paper at home. She then laid out the options. Option one was to try again before proceeding with any testing. Her reasoning is that, statistically, I should have no problems with my next 5 pregnancies. Another options is that my uterus may have positional problem, but she didn't feel it was that because I already have a healthy child. She said that I can start progesterone as soon as I get a positive test and maybe that would help sustain the pregnancy. Maybe there have been chromosomal defects, but she didn't think it was that because, again, we have Hayden. And finally, she said that there was a possibility that I have a clotting disorder. That would be rare because of a previous birth, but it's possible for it to develop. If that's the case my body would clot off any starting pregnancy and remove it.

I informed her that I am the type of person that likes to be armed with as much information as possible. I don't want to take another chance on the hurt of losing another baby. So, I will now become a guinea pig. I will go in next week for testing. We opted to not do the Chromosome testing because of the cost (it's probably not covered by insurance) and since we already have Hayden. The testing results will take about two weeks and hopefully we will have some idea of what is going on. She did warn us of the possiblity that there is NOTHING wrong. Then it all comes down to we simply had a run of bad luck and if we got pregnant again, it would all be fine.
So, now I pray that God gives me peace and patience through this process. I pray for some answer. I told my doctor that if we did discover a problem and I can't carry another child, that we would adopt. I would still feel like my family was complete if we adopted. I would love to carry another child again, but if that's not in God's plan that maybe he will bless us with a child through someone else. Either way, a child is a blessing!

I do thank the Lord for this journey because I know that the process will teach me something and that it will make me stronger. I firmly believe that your past makes you who you are today. The journey may be difficult at the time, but in the end, it's worth the struggle.