Oh How He Loves Us

I was moved to tears this morning in church. I know the Lord loves us all. But today I felt it. I have heard the song before, but never read the words:

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,I am unaware of these afflictions

eclipsed by glory, And I realise just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus: And oh, how He loves us so,

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

Chorus 1:Yeah, He loves us,Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,Whoa! how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,Whoa! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,

If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,

When I think about, the way…

When I think about the way that he loves us, it's just so amazing. He's so faithful when I know I don't deserve it. I guess I have never really listened to the song and when I read the words "heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss", I was thinking Huh? And then our pastor gave us something that he pictures when he hears that: You know that grandma who is so excited to see her grandchildren? She gives them sloppy wet kisses without regard to what people are thinking. That's how our Father will greet us when we see him in heaven, he said. Without regard to anything else, he will wrap his arms around us and be so happy to see us. How could I not be moved by such a welcoming thought?

Merry Christmas and New Tradition

We had a Merry Christmas at our house. Craig's family came over Christmas Eve and we had a traditional meal. It was great to spend time with everyone and I was so glad that Craig didn't have to work.

Chris and Suzi gave Hayden a great present. It's a pop-up Monster truck. He LOVES it, but it's a little loud so he covers his ears and has us make it pop up. It was definitely a hit.

Hayden and Momo and THE truck!

Matthew and Momo

Michael and Momo

Suzi and Momo

And of course, my silly hubby and Momo

So we started a new tradition in our little family. At least I am hoping that it will become a tradtion. The director at Hayden's play school gave him a bag full of "Reindeer food". It had instructions on it that said: "Sprinkle reindeer food on your lawn right before bedtime on Christmas Eve. Quickly hop into bed because it works best when children are sleeping. Contains enough food for 9 reindeer including Rudolph. P.S. don't forget to say your prayers."

I thought it was such a cute idea. So we had Hayden get ready for bed and then we took him outside and had him sprinkle it in the grass. Then we told him that we needed to read a story and say prayers. He ran right to the ottomon in the living room and put his hands together for prayers. It was so cute because he was in such a hurry!!! We always say prayers in his bed! I had printed out "the night before christmas" and we read that and THEN said prayers. He is really starting to understand Santa. It's so exciting to see the wonder and excitment on his face.

One of the presents that Santa brought included The Polar Express. He was riveted! He is really starting to show interest in trains. It was a very cute movie.

Another present that he got from Santa was an easel/desk. Santa left him a great note. I just had to get a pic of it!

35 Week Appointment

I had the dreaded exam today. I only say dreaded because it was a physical exam. Who likes those? It went really well and I was pleased to find out that I am already dilated to 1cm and 50% effaced. I know that is by no means an indication that she will come early, but I didn't start to dilate with Hayden until I was 36 weeks and by 40 weeks had made no changes. I am hoping that this time around I will progress much faster. I FEEL like I will have her early, but who knows? My OB did say that moms that feel so strongly that their child will come early are usually right.

I have been having some braxton hicks and she has been so low for a few weeks now. Either way, we scheduled a birthday party for January 11, 2010 if she is not here before then. I simply pray that all goes well, there are no complications and that she is healthy. Plus I would like to be somewhat close to the hospital when and if I do go into labor on my own. Given the chances that Craig will probably be out of town, I really do not look forward to driving myself over an hour to the hospital! Wish me luck, PLEASE.

You Know How To Whistle, Don't You?

You just put your lips together and say "woo hoo". At least that's how Hayden does it. I am afraid that I am going to have a problem on my hands when Hayden gets older. I can already hear the phone ringing at all hours just to find out it's not for us, but actually little girls calling for Hayden. It happened to my sister-in-law with my oldest nephew and I suppose it will be the same for me too.

One foreshadowing of the events to come happened today. Keep in mind he has always flirted with anyone of the female species from waitresses to grandmas in the grocery store. He's seemed mesmerized when he saw a group of older girls laughing and giggling. He's even glad to hug our friend's daughters. So, today we went to lunch at Chick-Fil-A. He sat in a booth, next to me, facing another mom with her daughter. This little girl was so cute. She had red curly hair pinned up with a purple gingham bow and was wearing a yellow jacket. She reminded me of Shirley Temple right down to the cute little smile.

There was one empty booth between us. The little girl had her back to us and the mom was facing me. Hayden stands up in the booth and whistles. Or more accurately, says "woo hoo" not once, not twice, but three times! At first I didn't realize what he was saying until she turned around and her mom started laughing. I just grinned and blushed I'm sure. I was wondering what her mom was thinking. My son was cat-calling her daughter! Oh, what's a mom to do?

I think it's setting in...

I have been talking more and more to Hayden about sister. I think it's really starting to sink in with him that there is SOMEONE in my belly. A few nights ago I was sitting on the couch and was talking to Hayden about Reagan. He came over and placed his little hands on my belly and started talking to her. He was telling her all about Momo, BB, Aunt Suzi, Uncle Chris and the boys coming to see him on Thanksgiving. It was so cute! We call her "Sister", but of course it comes out as "Sisser". He says her name with an East Texas drawl: Raaaygiiiinn! He told her to "come soon, play monster trucks!" He has even stopped getting in her bed and has started calling it sister's bed. That's a definite improvement!

I love it. I had no idea how much I would enjoy these times. It is going by too fast and before I know it, they will be fighting and complaining about each other. I will have to think back to these sweet moments and remember that there was a time that he looked forward to having a baby sister.

6 weeks!

Six weeks from today is when I have chosen to have my induction. So, in six weeks or less I will become the mother of two children. That's just 42 days! I don't know how I'm going to handle a child going through the terrible 2's and a newborn. I remember when Hayden was little he slept alot so I am hoping that this little one will be a good sleeper too.

I have anxiety that I will not have enough time for Hayden and that he will be jealous of his sister. I don't want him to resent her or feel neglected in any way. I haven't really pushed potty training since he is only slightly showing interest and since I don't want him to regress when she gets here. Oh, so much is going through my head right now. I hope I can handle it. I hope I am up to the task.

31 weeks!

Reagan Elizabeth

I had my 31 week check up this morning. Things are looking good. I begged for another ultrasound in the hopes that we could get better images of our little girl than when she was 20 weeks. Plus, since Craig missed the 20 week scan I was hoping they would have pity on us and fit us into the sonographer's schedule. We waited for quite a while for her to fit us in, but they ended up doing a complete scan to get all her measurements! I was just hoping for a couple of pictures of her face. Many of her pictures have either her leg or her arm up by her forehead. I'm sure it's getting pretty cramped in there. We did get to see her swallowing and moving her mouth! It was so great!

My fluids are good and she is measuring in the 50% for each measurement, but the machine averaged her overall size is about 75%. It estimated her weight at 4.3 pounds. If this keeps up, she will be as big as Hayden was! I will definitely have to watch my eating. That's going to be hard considering Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. At least I can probably stick to my new year's resolution to lose at least 30 pounds next year! In fact, I will probably reach that goal pretty quickly! Ha! It's the weight after that that I want to lose. I hope it comes off quickly too.

As of right now, we are planning an induction for January 11. Only 8 more weeks to go! I can't believe how fast it has gone by and I know it will only go more quickly as we get into the busy time. I can't wait to meet our little girl.

Reagan's Goodies

I have the best friend! My college roommate, Holly, is always thinking of me. Today I got a package from her with goodies for Reagan. She wasn't able to make it to the shower last week so she sent her present to the house. So, of course, I have to show all the goodies off!

Burp cloths too pretty for spit up!

The cutest bib ever!

A soft, pretty blanket

A Great Bag! I can fit everything in there!

I decided to set up my camera and tried to be creative. I really need to work on my photography skills and get some more equipment. I think it turned out really cute and I LOVE black and white photography.

The Scarecrow

My Mother-in-Law started a tradition with Hayden on his first Halloween. She plops Hayden down in front of this cute bucket and allows him to dig to his heart's content. Last night was his third Halloween and so here is a progression of three years of candy joy!

Now, being a fan of the Wizard of Oz, I have always wanted to dress up as Dorothy. I didn't get to this year since I'm big as a house that landed on a witch, so I did the next best thing. I dressed Hayden as one of my favorite characters. I even got face paint. I was afraid that he wouldn't let us paint his face and I was right. I did manage to get one of his mostly painted face before he smeared it all off.

We went to Mineola where my Sister and Brother-in-law live. They have a great downtown area where all the shops hand out candy. I feel safe about taking him there and he gets a TON of loot. More loot than I would prefer him to have, but he's happy so I guess I am happy too.

The Train was coming.

What's a scarecrow without Dorothy?

This is the first year that I had to cut him off. While I was talking with my Mother-in-Law, this is what Hayden was doing. He had so much candy the bag was straining under the load. He cried for 15 minutes in the truck before he finally fell asleep. I have now witnessed first hand the effects of a sugar high and crash!

School Pictures

Ms. Holli's Class

First "School" Picture

I had to share his pictures from school. I was so proud with how well they turned out. I was a little apprehensive about spending the money on these pictures because he's not always cooperative when the camera is out. Then I told myself that regardless of how they turned out, the memory would be well worth the investment. I was so glad that I invested! I personally think he's so handsome!

Now, the group picture is more like what I expected of his individual shot. He looks a little bored. I have seen that stance many times! On a different note, I can understand the names when I ask him who they are. I am so pleased with how well his language is progressing!

*Disclaimer: I'm sure you can tell, but these are pictures of pictures. I don't remember the photographer's full name, but I want to make sure "Mike" get's the credit and not me! You know how those copywrite laws are.

On A Slightly Smaller Scale

Hayden is loving his Monster Trucks. We had to get two monster truck shirts yesterday! I have recorded a couple of Monster Jams on the SPEED channel and he HAS to watch them everyday. So tonight instead of watching them, we made our own track complete with a bull dozer to re-stack the pile of cars should they get messed up during the Freestyle Exhibition.

My how they grow

Margaret, 5 and Lillie, 3

(Christmas 2002)

I just have to brag on my cousin Margaret a little. She's grown into such a beautiful lady. She turned 11 in May and of course she's going on 16, but that's always the case with pre-teen little girls. Right? It just amazes me how much they grow and change in such a short time. She is a natural horse back rider. She eats, sleeps and breathes horses. In this day and age when most kids are planted securely in front of the t.v. or computer, Margaret is found outside riding her favorite horse bareback. And she has the dream horse. He's 25 year old Arabian named Diamond and he's definitely that. He's exactly what I am looking for when it comes time to get a horse for my kids. Below is a picture of her just last weekend riding said horse. She's got such a natural talent and with the proper trainig she might be able to take the barrel racing a long way. I wish her much luck and success. But if she chooses not to compete in a professional manner, she will have a lifelong love that never goes away.

A Chip off the Old Engine Block

Since the day Hayden was born, there was never a doubt that he was Craig's son. He looked like a Mini-Me of Craig. People who don't know my husband say he looks like me, but as soon as they meet Craig, they say "oh, nevermind." Really? I'm in there somewhere!!

Lately, however, Hayden has become more like Craig than I realized was possible. Craig is a sort of car enthusiast. His favorite is the Ford Mustang. We all like them, but only Craig can tell you what year simply by looking at the headlight, turn signal or grill. I'm not talking about telling the difference between an 80's mustang and a 90's mustang. I'm talking about "that's a 1967 fastback Boss 302". Well, it seems, that Hayden has inherited Craig's love for the mustang. So far he knows a 90's to current mustang from at least a 100 ft away and can even point one out in a parking lot as we have passed by at 50mph! One NIGHT he saw the tail lights of a yellow mustang and said "momma, mustang!" How does that kiddo know that? Maybe some day he will grow up and be an engineer for Ford Mortor Company. I hope that means that I finally will get one for myself!

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz

For a while bath time was chaotic. A complete battle from start to finish. But since Craig found these crayola bath dropz at Target, it has been much more fun for all involved. Now the biggest challenge at bath time is deciding what color the water will be. It even gives you a code for mixing to make the water different colors. You know... Yellow + Blue = Green. You drop them in and they fizz like Alka-seltzer. There are no big bubbles, but the entire tub of water turns the color of your choice. My personal favorite is the blue because it reminds me of the Caribbean waters, but for obvious reasons, I don't recommend yellow by itself.

Prayers answered and yet there's still a loss.

The last few days have been emotion filled. A distant cousin passed away Sunday after a long period batteling a leukemia like disease. She was one of my grandfather's first cousins. She was 77 years young and lived a happy, fun filled life with her husband of 57 years. I can't imagine that they have been together nearly 60 years. I can't imagine what one does after losing a partner that you have had for so long. I know that she is rejoicing in Heaven today with her Lord. Jim, her husband, is a retired Methodist minister and he is just amazing. He knows that some day he will see her again! She is being cremated and requested that she be placed in a red suitcase with a sticker of Hawaii on the side! She had an amazing sense of humor and Garner Cavender will be missed tremendously.

Monday my mom had planned a routine gallbladder removal surgery. All her preliminary workup looked great and she planned for my aunt Tommie to take her in that morning and pick her up when it was all done (I was home with Hayden who was sick). At 8:30 Tommie called me asking if I had talked to the doctor. She said that they called her saying that Mom's heart had stopped when they sedated her and that they had to do CPR and after 2 minutes got her heart beating again. The surgeon was not comfortable with continuing so he stopped the surgery and allowed her to wake up. They told us that they had made one incision and started inflating her abdomen for the laproscopic surgery and that's when her heart stopped. The cardiologist ordered at heart cath and planned to do a stint if necessary. God answered prayers yesterday. I received a call at 4:00 saying that all was good and no stints were needed. Mom could go home and reschedule the surgery for a later date. Her cardiologist said that he would give some precautions, but didn't see any reason why she couldn't go ahead with the surgery. Mom is feeling less anxious about the surgery knowing that all has turned out ok. I am so greatful to Him for providing amazing doctors and support to save her life.

Thump Thump

She's kicking! I can't believe that I am finally feeling those little kicks. In typical fashion, she started kicking as soon as I got into bed last night. It was such a great feeling. I'm 23 weeks today and I was able to see my belly move last night! I am so thankful to have made it this far and am looking forward to the weeks and months to come.

Thank you GOD for this little gift.

The Chair

Before the Transformation

My step-grandmother found this chair in the garage and gave it to Hayden. She said that she was pretty sure it was my grandfathers. I don't know for sure that it was because my mom and aunt's don't remember it, but either way Hayden loves it. And it makes me smile thinking that it might really have been my grandfather's.

It's not quite ready to sit in yet!

The "seat" of the chair looked like it was an old deer hide. It was moth eaten and really pretty gross so Craig and I decided to try to make a new seat for it. So I set out to find some material that was both durable and cute for a little boy. Recovering a seat is a little more work than I thought. The hide was stretched over the chair like a drum so there was no real "seat" to the chair. Craig had to make a seat to fit and then I covered it. All in all I think it turned out pretty good. Hayden seems to really like it and I even have some material to cover that seat of the rocking horse my Mother-in-law gave me for the baby girl!!

The Finished Product

It's a girl!!!

Isn't she just so cute?

I hoped and prayed for a healthy little baby regardless of the sex. And after our ultrasound last Wednesday we found that we have a healthy little baby girl! The doctor was pleased with all the images and said that there is nothing that concerns her at all. She was a very active little baby. The technician said that she was having trouble getting good images because of the activity. She said that little boys are usually so active and girls are usually really calm. I hope that's not a sign of something to come! I don't care as long as she is happy and healthy.

We are still stumped as to what to name her. We have two names picked out and can't decide between the two. Actually, I like them both, but have a preference. We even had a drawing and the name Craig likes won, but then he said that we didn't have to name her that. Who knows? This may be one of those times that when we see her we decide what her name will be. Sometimes they look more like one name than the other.

First Day of "School"

Hayden started "school" on Tuesdays August 25. It's really Mom's day out, but I have called it school in the hopes that when he goes to real school, he will have a positive outlook. He was so good to get up a little early and eat breakfast. He got dressed and brushed his teeth without too much trouble and we headed to school. He was fine going in, but once he realized that he wasn't there to pick out toys to take home, started crying. He met his teacher a couple of weeks before, but I know he didn't realize what that was all about. So, of course, I started crying. I was careful not to let him see me cry, but I couldn't hold it back. One really sweet mom stopped to reassure me that it would be OK. She said it will get easier and to just give it a few days. I felt so silly and I'm sure that she thought it was time for me to cut my apron strings. I wasn't crying because he was, I was crying because I was leaving him for the first time with someone other than family. I know it's for the best. I want to him to get along with other children and socialize well. I figure it's time to get it out now and not when he's in high school.

Ms. Holli said that he did pretty good the first day, but didn't really want to play with the other children. She loves how he is so sweet and said that she would love to have a class full of Haydens. He says "Okay" when she asks him to do something and just says "hi" for no reason at all. She thinks he's so sweet.

This week was a little tough because he knew what was going to happen and when we were in the car on the way he started crying. I felt better though when we got there because he went straight to Ms. Holli and let her hug him and pick him up. It made me feel good knowing he's comfortable with her. It's just a matter of time and he will fit right in.

Breakfast Time

All Ready for School

Hayden's new Backpack

So the last few days Craig has been out of town. In fact, it's been 10 days. So when I went to pick Hayden up from school, Craig was able to go with me. He hasn't been able to see the school or meet Ms. Holli. Hayden was so excited to see us and ran full blast out of the room to Daddy! I did manage to get a pic of them hugging, but he was running too fast for me to get one! You can see the relief on his face.

Daddy's Little Boy

My Sweet Son is a Little Criminal!

Today Craig was home from work so we got to spend the day together. It's been a while since we have had a whole day to run errands and shop together without having to hurry home or listen for the phone when he's on call. We thought we'd stop by Harbor Freight first. If you know anything about stores, you know this place is a man's paradise. It's equipped with any tool you can think of and them some. They are all resonably priced too. We had a coupon for an engine lift that Craig has been wanting so while the boys were in there picking that up, I went to Baskins right next door. We got the lift and, of course, a couple of other things before leaving and then headed out the door to lunch.

I'm sure at this point you're wondering "where does the criminal part come in?". Well, enter Hayden, the clepto. That's right, we sat down to lunch at our favorite Chinese food place and Hayden proceeds to remove from his pocket an ignition switch. Craig realized right away that this came from the store!! We had to take it from him and explain that he can't put things in his pocket unless they have been paid for. I'm sure he understood about as much as any 2 year old would. So, after lunch, we headed back to Harbor Freight and returned the switch. I sure hope he doesn't do anything like that at Wal-Mart. They might cart me off the jail!

Jennings Family Cruise

From August 17-August 22, we took a family cruise with Craig's family. His father, step-mother, brother and sister-in-law and their two sons all went too Along with his Aunt and Uncle. It was so much fun. I have many pictures. In fact I took 366, but I will spare you and only put a few on for all to see. Our cruise was to Progresso Mexico and Cozumel. It was so relaxing and so great to be away for a little while. Hayden had a blast and loved the big "boat". It was a little overwhelming for him at the ocean at first, but he loved playing in the sand.

The "fun ship" slide on the Lido deck

The elevators in the main lobby "empress deck"

The family at Progresso.

Uncle Chris, Michael, Matthew and Hayden at Progresso Beach

Hayden and Daddy at Cozumel.

Hayden's name in the sand. It took 20 minutes

to get this shot because everytime I finished the water

washed it away! So worth it though.

Hayden waiting for the Build-a-Bear workshop!

Hayden's Build-a-Bear dog "Pooh".

He came with a Super Dog and firedog costume.

Waiting our turn to disembark to Galveston.

The cruise is over. It was so much fun.

Do you ever have one of those weeks or months?

I will have to make a series of posts because SO much has happened in the last few weeks that I have been without my computer. In one week's time my computer got zapped by lightening, our dryer quit, we thought our air conditioner was going out and something mechanical on the riding lawn mower broke. That alone meant that we had grass up to our knees until SEARS was able to get the parts to us and Craig was home long enough to repair the mower. Good thing we live in the country and are over 500 feet from the road. The pasture hides the front yard really well.

But all is on the mend now and as of tonight, I have a working computer, thanks to our good friend Theo! He's a lifesaver. He still had all our old files from the last time he worked on our computer and we didn't lose ANY pictures!!! It would have been devistating since all the pictures of Hayden are on it, with the exception of the few disks I have made.

Overall, things are getting back to normal. And I am finally able to join the land of the well connected and just be able to check my email on a regular basis. I had no idea how hooked I was on this darn thing.

So stay tuned, if you want, to my upcoming posts!

Terrible Twos

He looks pretty angelic. Doesn't he? But let me tell you, I was in a store today talking to a lady about children. She said that she has a little boy who is six and that so far the worst year was when he was three. That's not what I want to hear since Hayden just turned 2 and now he's throwing a fit nightly about going to bed. I am hoping that it's just because my cousins are staying with us and he doesn't want to miss anything they are doing. They have been here since Thursday night and so far he's had only one nap and hasn't gone to bed on time once. Last night he was up until 12:30a.m! I know this behavior is because his routine is disrupted, but my goodness. I dread bed time and bath time and teeth brushing time and nap time and reading time and the list goes on and on. I find myself giving in just so that I don't have to listen to the temper tantrum. Yesterday I started crying right along with him because I feel like I am doing something wrong. I couldn't help it and I couldn't hold it back either.

Dreams

They say that as many as 70% of women who have a "feeling" about the sex of their child are right. I don't know who THEY are, but I like to believe that these are pretty good odds. When I was pregnant with Hayden, I knew immediately that he was going to be a boy, but dreamed one time that I was carrying a girl. From that moment on I was convinced that it was a girl. I should have listened to my first instinct.

With this one, I have not one time had a feeling that this baby is a boy. Perhaps it's because this time around I would like a girl. Or perhaps it's because I have had 3 dreams that it's a girl. The first dream(and some of it really made no sense, you know how dreams go) I was dating a guy that didn't look like Craig, but was him. He was leaving and I said to him that I just had one question. He interrupted me and said "it's a girl." It's not the question I was going to ask, but at that moment I woke up.

The second I dreamed that I had the baby and they took it to recovery without telling me what it was. My mom and I walked the hall and outside each room they had either a pink or blue tag with last name and either "boy" or "girl". When I got to my room, it said "Jennings: Girl".

And lastly, I dreamed that we had the baby and got home without knowing what it was. I know why I had this dream... Craig is wanting to wait until we have the baby to find out the sex. Anyway, we got home and I told him that I was ready to find out and he kept saying no! Don't ask me why! I told him that I was going to peak and sure enough it was a girl!!

I may be completely wrong and my mind is dreaming what I would like to see. I guess I will just have to wait until the ultrasound. That's just 6 weeks away and hopefully by then I can convince Craig that it would make things much easier to find out early instead of waiting. I think I am breaking him down!

13 weeks

Today was my second check up at the doctor's office. Good news is that I have lost 2 pounds! I haven't been trying to lose, but my appetite is not like it was with Hayden. Actually, according to my scale at home I have not gained, and I like to go by that one since the numbers are always less. Craig and Hayden got to come with me and since they missed the last visit, I begged my doctor to do a quick ultrasound for them to see. It was amazing to see the difference in size. There she (or he) was kicking and moving right on the screen. The heart beat was a wonderful size and the measurement is still right on with my estimated due date. From everything she could tell at this stage the back bone is formed, the skull is formed and she can see all arms and legs. Craig was so happy to see the little one, but Hayden was just trying to keep his distance since he knew we were in the doctor's office. I'm sure he was thinking that he was next! All-in-all I am so very pleased with how this pregnancy is progressing and some of my fears and anxieties have been put away after today.

My New Hobby

I guess I wouldn't says it's my NEW hobby since I have always loved taking pictures, but it definitely makes picture taking much more fun. I don't know if I will ever become a professional or even learn everything this camera has to offer, but I sure am having fun trying! Of course, my favorite subject is geting very tired of being photographed and I am pretty sure that he's seeing spots wherever he looks.

A subject other than Hayden